Accidental Hoarders & Pack Rats

People in rural Maine seem to fit in one of these two categories. As I define them, an Accidental Hoarder is the more passive type. In this case it’s almost as if the house itself did the collecting. The years go by and the stuff is acquired as the family grows and changes. The children leave home but their stuff stays behind. The grandparents die and their stuff is added to the home. Then, perhaps there is a time of being a caregiver for a spouse or parent, and when that is over, the overwhelmed survivor becomes dimly aware that the home is over-loaded but the energy to deal with it just isn’t there.

Pack Rats, on the other hand, are enthusiastic collectors of stuff. They very likely still have things they collected in childhood. Every item has a potential new use. It might come in handy someday. You never know when someone might need an item.

For many years, either an Accidental Hoarder or a Pack Rat may manage okay, but then cognitive decline sets in. As much as people want to remain in their own homes, the circumstances that will end their stay are apt to be connected to their tendency to not deal with the stuff. When the home becomes a hazard a fall is more likely.

 There are two considerations when working with people who need to downsize, whether or not they are moving.

 The first consideration is the degree of attachment they have to their stuff. For some people their stuff is their identity and parting with any of it feels very threatening. It is human nature to want to avoid loss more than to seek gain.

 The other consideration is the Accidental Hoarder ‘s willingness to receive help. It’s a little bit like the old joke about “how many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?”. The answer is “only one, but the light bulb must be ready to change”.

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Posted in Downsizing, Parents, The State of Your House

Hoarding or collecting?

When my younger son was a baby, my mother asked me to save some of his baby food jars when they were empty. When I next visited her, she had screwed the lids from the jars to the underside of some shelves on the way down her cellar stairs and the jars attached to them held various small pieces of hardware such as cup hooks and screws she had salvaged from her renovation efforts on her old house.  She didn’t want every jar we had. She wanted a specific number of them for a specific purpose. She was not going to waste good hardware, even if there was old paint still on them. She had lived through the depression years of the 1930’s and was motivated by true scarcity.

When my husband and I visit Liberty Tool in Liberty, Maine, there on the shelves are quantities of jars full of the same sorts of saved small hardware. I point out to my husband that everything he beholds is the result of widows calling Liberty Tool and asking, “would you come over here and clean out my husband’s shop?”.  I remind him that this, too, will be the fate of his shop if I out-live him. He agrees that it will, indeed, be over his dead body that his shop gets cleaned out.

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The Things We Do Not Keep

The cold winter weather provides an opportunity to go through stuff located in places that get too hot to work in during the summer such as crawl-spaces, attics, and other little used spaces. Even though it is probably too cold to do much work, just surveying what’s there and making note of it for future planning, will give you the sense of something being in your control instead of feeling overwhelmed.

What organizing actions could you do best by yourself? When do other people add to the confusion and drain your energy?

What activities would you appreciate help with? Sometimes another person can act as a “body double” who merely hands you items and asks what you would like to do with them. It helps you to focus and finish one thing before going on to something else.

Would you consider hiring some help?

  • Someone who can fetch items from hard to reach spaces
  • someone who can load things into your vehicle or take away things in their vehicle
  • junk collectors who will clean up around the yard
  • an appraiser who can evaluate what the value is of something you want to sell

When you begin to go through your stuff and make decisions, first you need a staging area such as an unused bedroom where you can bring the collections of items you want to go through.

As you sort you need to make clear distinctions between what is trash and what is to be donated or sold. Use black bags for trash only. Use large, clear or white bags for the items that are not trash. If you use boxes use white bankers boxes for important things – your keepers or your important files etc. Use recycled boxes for your give-aways or yard sale items.

Once you have some sorted items you need a holding area. This could be in a garage, a porch, or the trunk of your car.

You need to know where you can take your trash and your donated items. If your town has a recycling center what will it take? Does it have a “swap-shop” for the free exchange of items? Do you know its hours of operation? Is there a Good Will store near you? There again you need to know its hours of operation and what items it will and will not accept. There are many charitable organizations that will gladly receive usable clothing and household items. If you want a tax deduction for the items you donate there are websites that compute the value for you.

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Posted in Downsizing

Christmas Curmudgeon

It’s been many years, maybe even decades, since the first snow made me feel ‘Christmas-ey’. That feeling carried an impulse to make, to create, to bake. The younger version of myself could handle all this. It was replaced with the need to shop and, more recently, the need to purchase gift cards for online shopping. That’s what is desired by the offspring, not a hand-knit sweater or hat.

We still exchange baked goods with a few neighbors and friends, but it just isn’t the same. The grandchildren are grown. The offspring are middle-aged and caught up in their own struggles. Nostalgia for Christmas is left to us old folks. I remember when you could do a pretty good job of Christmas shopping at the local hardware store which would also carry housewares and toys.

That leaves us with what to do about the Christmas decorations. We tend now to put them up for the sake of the neighbors so we don’t appear to be entirely curmudgeonly. Getting up on a step ladder to place decorations just-so has become more of a chore than a pleasure. The legs and back begin to complain and we ask ourselves “why are we doing this?”. My husband and I are in Old old-age. He is 82 and I am 78. We tend to compare the amount of effort with the value of the result.

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Posted in Venting

Ghost Story # 1

When Edna returned to haunt her house and see what her family was doing, she was surprised to see a dumpster on the lawn. She was dismayed when she looked inside it to see most of the things she had cared about were in it. Her family had one thing in mind – the quick sale of Edna’s house. Her children knew the real estate market was red hot and they wanted to act fast. They only had a weekend to empty it. The bigger money to be made from the sale of the house outweighed the value of Edna’s possessions. The only thing that was slowing them down was the need to dispose of some hazardous waste materials that the trash hauler would not take and could not be recycled.

Edna realized that the legatees of her many treasures would be the pickers who frequented the rubbish removal firm’s site.

Disposing of prescription drugs left in home

Disposing of hazardous wastes found on property

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Posted in Downsizing

April 18 Topic: Getting Started Downsizing